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I'm ELLE from Bulacan, Philippines. :) Studying at CEU Malolos taking up BS Psychology.
November 23, 2009 - My Tumblr Birthday! Ü This tumbleblog is about me, my life.
My hippy name is Stone Wonder Cloud. I'm a sanguine girl. Clumsy, outrageous, nocturnal, weird, procrastinator, imperfect, kind, understanding, enthusiastic.
If I would be color, I’ll be VIOLET. In my spare time, I love reading books, listening to music or surfing the net. My ideal outfit are t-shirt, jeans, flip-flops or doll shoes.

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If you're a Filipino, follow me and I'll follow you back. If not, follow me. And if we share common interests, I might follow you back. ;-)
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Posts tagged "cultive"

Before people around me do not usually say what are the things on their mind, maybe because they are afraid. I myself was afraid before because for me, saying it out comes with a judgment. However, as time passed by, we learn how to overcome this fear and try to be mature enough to let other people what is really within us. It is really a good feeling to let other people know the real thing within you.

I am so happy to see that some of my friends are more expressive now when it comes to their real feelings. Some of them now know what to say and yeah, when to say it. Even it would be like a slap in a face; at least, we try to say it to each other, which we knew that, will make us a better person. (Though it would be like a slap, we are mature enough to take is a good comment. In addition, no things/words would be a slapped enough when it comes to friendship.) Some of them tell that they miss and love me, which I absolutely appreciate. Nothing in this world would be a greater feeling than being value, cherish, and love. The others who are not that expressive yet will eventually were going to learn it. It could by themselves or with a little help and push by the people around them. :-) 

Cunning the memory before it suffers me.

Analyzing the reality before it distresses me.

Tearing the letter before it terrifies me.

Depriving the melody before it suffers me.

Closing the book before it burns me.

Removing the belief before it smothers me.

Cutting the cord before it suffocates me.

Facing the labyrinth before it troubles me.

Judging the gabble before it kills me.


Now change the word before to because and discover the real meaning.

When I was at that age, I was thinking about how will be my future. Not to the point, I am thinking for a man. It was the year that I am graduating for high school. There is of course an excitement but with that is the fear of what might happen to the future. I love my high school friends and I do not know how I will be in college without them. I was too dependent to them because they had been my big brothers and sisters. There is a fear of meeting and knowing people and the expectations that comes with it.

I was thinking what course I would take up and where school I am qualified. I was thinking if my parents would allow me to study at Manila or just let me here in Bulacan. I was thinking if the course I want is what my parents would want to. I was thinking if the course I will be taking suits my personality. Lastly, I was thinking if taking up that course would help me to be successful.

Maybe the wildest thing I ever think is will I be able to give my parents a great future. Will I be able to give them the kind of life that they had given me? Will I be able to give them the good life that they so much deserve?

However, there are times that I think and talk about love, but it was not extreme. Love that time was a good feeling. It was a sense of appreciation, admiration and attraction. That time.

It is not that I am talking like an old lady here huh. I am just giving my opinion that young ladies should not prioritize finding the ideal man. They, we, are so young. There are many things we can do, we need to do, and I would love to think it is our education. I am not saying that all we need to do is to study. We should study and at the same time, we should enjoy. Have fun, fun, and fun but do not forget that we need to learn.

Oh gosh, this thing is not going anywhere. This does not make sense anymore. I need to stop.

P.S. It is okay to be futuristic, just know your limitations. ;-)

Yeah, it has been a month since he decided to call it off. He said the reason and until now, I really did not get why it was the reason. I do not want to elaborate the reason anymore because it is so ridiculous. As like what I expected, I am going to see him no matter what because our school is not big enough for the two of us.

Arriane, Aika and I decided to stay at library for minutes as we think where we want to eat since we have a long break. As we enter the library, they never told me he was there. I did not see him because he is far and I am not wearing my eyeglasses. As we sit down, boom! I saw him. He was with his classmates. I did not saw his face but I know he is okay, as always. I ignored him and instead focus to my friends and tell them what happened during my Christmas vacation. We exchanges thoughts and experiences and we are very happy about it. Different experiences, but all are epic. Minutes passed and he, together with his classmates left the library. Arraine said, “Ayun pala sya.” Moreover, I just replied, “I know.”

We decided to eat at Fan Ling’s, but unluckily it is close. We do not have a choice but to eat at McDonald’s. We ordered foods and continue to talk about some stuff. As we realize that ten minutes left before our next class, we rush and did not mind our faces anymore. We get our things and walked out at McDonald’s. We are already near to school when I saw group of people, I could not see their faces but I know they are someone. I saw a tall guy, and you know what is next. My plan? Still ignore him. As we cross each other, I know he looked at me and I am not assuming. When suddenly, something hits me. I thought it was the sling bag of Aika’s, but I am wrong. Then I’ve heard a voice, “Uy Ellen!”. I try to look back and I saw Ken, his friend. Teehee! Ken shouted at me because I did not see him. Ken was at his side. Because I am at my best to ignore him, I did not see that Ken was with him. I replied, “Keeeeeenn!” After that I texted Ken and tell him I am sorry for not seeing him. Stupid me for ignoring Ken. Haha!

My classmates and I go to our room and wait for our next class. We got bored so we go to the lobby trying to see who are going to pass by. Ken passed and this time I saw him, and I called him. :-) We try to talk and talk about certain things as we wait when all of a sudden he passed by. He was holding his phone, maybe texting someone. He glances to us and I just look at him just how I look other people in our school. Well at least, that time I did not ignore him.

It is so funny how now we became strangers again. He does not want us to end like this. In fact, he wants us to be friends. It is my fault, I have to admit it. I never want to be his friend after what happened. You cannot blame me, I am hurt. It would be very awkward to my part to be his friend when I know deep within me that I still feel something towards/against him. I know he would never want to ignore me and he still wants me in his world. Nevertheless, I have to say, the feeling is not mutual. It is not in my culture to stay after you hurt me and bid a goodbye. I would keep this kind of feeling, forcing myself to ignore him rather than talking to him and all the memories will come back. Why? Because it would be slap to my face to reminisce it and realize that it would never happen again. Never ever again. I guess it is really better off this way. He has his own world, and I have mine. I have my own world without him existing to it.


(via asdfghjkllove)

 I became too comfortable with you.
I used to talk to you every single day.
I used to see you ever so often.
I allow you to know me personally.
I put my time and effort to you.
 I fall for you without hesitations.


Only to find out you have to leave me. Don’t you know that I invest myself to you, Jonas?


This would be the last time I’m going to mention your name here ‘cause it’s been a month. I should start moving. Moving away from you, moving away from anything and everything about you, moving away as far as I can.